Welcome to Siberia!

Upon finding out that Jesse had Down Syndrome, I was given a story called “Welcome to Holland.” I’d encourage you to read it at – http://www.ndsccenter.org/resources/package1.php The author had a child with Down Syndrome and she compares her journey as a mother to a child with special needs to taking a trip to Holland when you’re expecting to go to Italy.

I thought I was adjusting pretty well to life in Holland and was enjoying all the blessings that were found there. Then the doctors scheduled a “week-long trip” to Siberia, a place that no one wants to go. Now, three weeks have gone by, and the planes leaving Siberia keep leaving without me.

Siberia is a bleak, cold and lonely place. There are moments when the sun comes out, but then a new blizzard hits. I have found, though, that even in this cold and dreary land, God is here.

Psalm 139:7-12
“Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,"
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.

I think God wants me at the point where I can accept that I may have to take up residence in Siberia. He wants me to trust Him, no matter where He takes me. He wants me to know that He is with me, no matter where I am.

Ten days before Jesse’s surgery, I shared my testimony with my church. After sharing how I came to know Christ as my Savior, I concluded that God gives us more than we can bear to make us rely on Him. I compared my experiences to Paul’s in his letter to the Corinthians.

2 Corinthians 1:8b-10 “For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.”

Little did I know how much more difficult life was about to become. In the last few weeks, I have repeatedly felt there is absolutely no way I can handle any more. Then I realize that I’m feeling that way because I’m trying to do it in my own strength again.

Philippians 4:12-13 “I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

Unfortunately for me, I’m not a very good student and God has to keep teaching me this secret over and over again.

Another lesson God is teaching me right now is that my faith needs to be active. When He tells me “fear not” (Isaiah 41:10), or take up His yoke (Matthew 11:28-30), or wait for Him (Lamentations 3:25), or trust Him (Isaiah 30:15), these are active commands that don’t just happen on their own. I have to choose to do them and God will give me the strength to obey.

Earlier today I was reminded of the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10. I hope I will not be anxious and troubled like Martha by all of these burdens that are too much for me to bear. I pray that instead I would be like Mary, choosing the good portion and sitting at the feet of Jesus – wherever God takes me – whether it be Italy or Holland or Siberia.

Whether you find yourself in Italy or Holland or Siberia, may the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you,
Kristan

P.S. No new blizzards today. Jesse continues to do very well. Thank you for your prayers!


Sitting at the Feet of Jesus
by J. H. and Asa Hull

Sitting at the feet of Jesus,
Oh, what words I hear Him say!
Happy place! so near, so precious!
May it find me there each day;
Sitting at the feet of Jesus,
I would look upon the past;
For His love has been so gracious,
It has won my heart at last.

Sitting at the feet of Jesus,
Where can mortal be more blest?
There I lay my sins and sorrows,
And, when weary, find sweet rest;
Sitting at the feet of Jesus,
There I love to weep and pray;
While I from His fullness gather
Grace and comfort every day.

Bless me, O my Savior, bless me,
As I sit low at Thy feet;
Oh, look down in love upon me,
Let me see Thy face so sweet;
Give me, Lord, the mind of Jesus,
Keep me holy as He is;
May I prove I’ve been with Jesus,
Who is all my righteousness.